The Nightmare
by ReginaReflects
Summary: After waking up from a horrific nightmare, Sheldon begins acting increasingly strange, more than he usually is. Leonard tries to help but continuously gets rejected. Will he be able to reach Sheldon to find out what is wrong with his roommate? **WARNING: rape in later chapters. Platonic relationship with Leonard and Sheldon. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Nightmare

**Hey guys, this is my second story on this channel, I hope you enjoy it. It's kinda sad, and please read the warning because there will be mentions of rape in the future, so if you no likey don't readie. Leonard is a supportive friend, it's a platonic relationship between Sheldon and Leonard. I was going to make it a m/m but, eh I changed my mind as I wrote it.** **Please review and tell me what you think! :)**

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"Ah!" Sheldon yelled, sitting up suddenly sitting straight up in his bed, panting, looking around him, squinting trying to make his eyes adjust to his surroundings, grabbing a hold of his sheets, his knuckles turning white. Where did that nightmare come from? It was like none before he's ever experienced.

"Sheldon! Are you okay? What's wrong?" Leonard burst through the door, not bothering to knock. He saw Sheldon panting, wide-eyed sitting up on his bed, not replying. "You had a nightmare?" Leonard breathed a sigh of relief realizing that his friend was not in fact in danger.

"Yes," Sheldon simply said, not bothering to replay the scene that he'd just witnessed in his own mind.

"Well" Leonard, walked a few paces in the room, "do you want to talk about it?" he said hesitantly, watching an obviously disturbed Sheldon, avoiding eye contact.

"No, thank you, Leonard, I just need to get back to sleep," he said simply, trying to avoid the topic altogether, pulling the sheet over his shoulders and laying on his side, facing away from his roommate. Leonard shrugged, knowing something was wrong but didn't want to push the sensitive Sheldon Cooper.

"Alright, well… I hope you get some rest buddy" he said, shutting the door. Sheldon, wasn't going to be able to get any rest, his eyes wide, almost unblinking, trying to prevent himself from replaying the horror scene that he'd just experienced in his night terror. He had tried best not to tear up while lying in bed, but a few stray tears did appear, out of his control. He sniffed, and frustratingly wiped his eyes with his hands, curling up into a ball with his blanket up to his chin. 'it's not going to happen, it's just a nightmare, it's not going to happen again' he kept saying to himself until he finally closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

This next morning, Leonard was making coffee, when Sheldon came out with his robe on, ready to make his breakfast. It was oatmeal day, and was eager to get back into the swing of his regular, comfortable, and familiar routine. "hey buddy, did you finally get back to sleep?". He just had to bring that up.

"Yes, I did, and I'd like to not discuss that, especially so early in the morning" Sheldon snapped, not looking at him, as he reached for the milk and the oatmeal.

"Sorry, Sheldon, I just am glad to see-"

"I said, I don't want to talk about it" Sheldon snapped again slightly louder. Whatever that nightmare was, really did hit a nerve with the physicist. Leonard, decided to stop talking, seeing that it was clearly aggravating the taller man. He sipped on his coffee and went to sit on the couch. It was Saturday, at least he could take his time and not have to have an argument with an agitated Sheldon on the way to work. He could give him his space, that he obviously really needed. After a time of quiet, Leonard observing Sheldon's interaction as he made his breakfast, hearing the clicks and clanks of the dishware and the stove, Leonard decided to break the silence.

"Hey Howard said something about going to the comic book store later this afternoon, you want to join us?" Leonard said hoping that this would give him a regular Sheldon response. "I could take you to the train store after" Leonard was really trying hard to get Sheldon out of his funk. Sheldon thought for a second, contemplating this offer.

"Yes," Sheldon said simply, not elaborating like he usually does, as he walked over to his spot and sat down with his bowl of precious plain oatmeal. Leonard stared at him, this isn't like Sheldon, he usually says about nine thousand words in the morning. Leonard had enough, he was going to get a proper response out of his roommate if he had to beat it out of him.

"Sheldon, this isn't like you! What the hell is going on?" Leonard nearly yelled,

"Leonard, my cognitive process is not functioning at its optimum level at this time, stop badgering me, and let me have a sufficient amount of time to process what I've been through," Sheldon said in one breath, never looking at his friend.

"What you've been through? Sheldon, it was a DREAM!"

"No! It wasn't! It was a nightmare; a nightmare is not a dream." Sheldon corrected in his usual tone.

"Whatever, it didn't actually happen!"

"Yes, it did!" Sheldon suddenly stood up, and ran back to his room, slamming the door, leaving Leonard perplexed and alone.


	2. Alone

**Okay, the second chapter is up. I don't own any of these characters. You've read the warnings before. Please be aware and review! :)**

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After sufficient time has passed, Leonard, came out of his room dressed in his usual attire, sat down at his desk in a huff. He didn't know what to do about Sheldon's behavior, he didn't want to go to him for fear it may just aggravate him more. He rubbed his temples, wishing that Sheldon would just come out on his own. He looked at the clock, it was nearly noon and Sheldon hasn't come out of his room, not even to take his unfinished oatmeal back to his room. Whatever is going on with Sheldon, is something that Leonard has never experienced before living with him. Maybe he's finally lost it. His genius exploded in his brain and now he can't think straight. A noise came out of Sheldon's computer on his desk, it sounded like a Skype call was coming through, it was Amy. Leonard looked back to the hallway hoping to see Sheldon standing there, but he wasn't. He decided to answer the call anyway.

"Hi, Amy" Leonard greeted.

"Hi, Leonard. Where's Sheldon?" She asked frowning, not expecting her boyfriend's roommate to answer the call.

"He's in his room, sulking. He's been acting weird this whole morning and I kind of pushed too hard to get him to talk about what the problem was." Leonard confessed.

"Oh…Well… Is he okay?" Amy is always concerned.

"Yeah, Yeah, I'm sure he is, he's just not talking to me right now" a light bulb popped into Leonards mind at this time "But I'm sure he'll talk to you, do you want me to take you to him?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess, but maybe he wants to be alone"

"Oh no I'm sure you talking to him might help," Leonard said dismissively, unplugging the laptop and carrying it down the hall. This is a perfect excuse to at least just check on Sheldon. He knocked lightly on the door. "Hey Sheldon, Amy wants to video chat with you", he said smiling. There was a pause before Sheldon answered.

"Does she need something urgent?" He asked. Leonard looked at Amy who shook her head.

"Yes, she does," Leonard said, lying to his friend. Amy looked confused and a bit irritated that Leonard was pushing her to talk to him when he clearly didn't want to talk. He heard the unlocking of his door before it opened, Sheldon standing there still in his robe. Usually, Sheldon would be fully dressed in his day clothes by now. Leonard could tell that he had been crying but not very recently. He looked tired and his eyes were bloodshot. Leonard was slightly taken aback by his friend's appearance. Sheldon held out his hands, to take the computer.

"Thank you," he simply said before closing the door. Leonard threw his arms up in defeat and walked back to the living room.

Inside Sheldon's room, he had placed his laptop down on his bed, which he normally never does since he doesn't typically take his computer with him into his bedroom. However, this was a special circumstance and really didn't want to leave his room. "Hey Sheldon, how are you"

"I'm fine," Sheldon said simply.

"Leonard tells me that you've been acting strangely, is something wrong," She asks showing concern. Sheldon sighs.

"I've told Leonard, that I do not wish to discuss the matter, please don't push it, Amy," He said tiredly. Amy nods, understandingly, respecting his boundaries. "Leonard said that you had something urgent to discuss with me, what is it?" Amy was scrambling.

"Uh, well I was wondering if you needed uh a basket… because I have one here and it's taking up a lot of space, and I'm looking to get rid of it and thought you would benefit from this basket because I, urgently need to get rid of it" Amy was just as bad a liar as Sheldon. Sheldon raised an eyebrow, recognizing something suspicious.

"No, I don't need a basket, Amy," Sheldon replied, going along with her ruse. "Is that all?" he said trying to be polite, but failing miserably.

"I guess… I just hope you feel better soon Sheldon." Amy said, attempting to engage him one last time.

"I do too," Sheldon said, not reassuringly, which also disturbed Amy. "Goodbye Amy Ferrah Fowler", she managed a smile.

"Goodbye, Sheldon" Amy smiled back before hanging up. Sheldon gingerly closed his laptop, and took in a breath, closing his eyes. He has to get over this. This incident cannot disturb his meticulously planning out routine, and the bond that he developed with his friends. If he just pushes it in the back of his mind, as if it didn't happen, then everything will be fine. He continued to reassure himself that he will never let anything happen like this again, and no one will ever have to know, and he won't have to suffer the humiliation of revealing his dark secret to his friends, watching the pity in their eyes. No one pities Sheldon Cooper. The nightmare was a close one, and he nearly unraveled it to Leonard. He shuddered to think of how Leonard will treat him or look at him if he ever found out, or if Amy ever found out. She would leave him, be disgusted. No, he won't allow it. He will get back into his routine just like the day that he came back from experiencing the most humiliating and frightening incident that he's ever had. He would take a shower, get dressed and go about his business. Yeah, that's what he will do.


	3. Some Friends

**Warning: Mention of rape. None of these characters are mine. :)**

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Leonard heard footsteps coming from the hallway and immediately looked behind him. He noticed Sheldon's figure sneak into the bathroom, and heard the water running. Good, he's started his shower, that means that he's feeling better. Leonard sighed, convincing himself that his roommate will get out of the shower and come back to his usual annoying self in no time.

Sheldon walked into the living room fully dressed in his green lantern shirt, his laptop in his arm, heading toward his desk. Leonard couldn't help himself. "Sheldon, I just want to say that I won't push anything anymore, I will let you have your space and we can change the subject now." He said hurriedly, fearing that Sheldon will shut him out again before he could finish his sentence. Sheldon looked up and smiled, nodding his head.

"Thank you, now are you ready to go to the comic book store?" Sheldon said showing his regular tone of voice, as he placed his laptop carefully on his desk. Leonard was pleasantly surprised that Sheldon still wanted to go with him, but was relieved to get his friend back to normal.

"Yes, definitely, ok let's go," Leonard said getting up and grabbing his keys.

"Are you going to take me to the train store afterward as well like you said?" Now Sheldon is back.

"Of course buddy, I said I would" Leonard was being extra nice, which pleased Sheldon normally, when he would cater to him when Sheldon was angry, but this time he wished that Leonard would respond to him like he usually does, with annoyance and grimace when he asks him to do something out of the way.

At the comic book store, Howard and Raj were already in there flipping through rows and rows of comic books, searching for their needs. Leonard opened the door for Sheldon, and Howard noticed it, quickly making a comment. "Opening the door for your husband I see, that's a sweet gesture, are you two going on a date tonight?" Raj snickered at Howard's usual comments. Sheldon frowned, and Leonard rolled his eyes.

"What does he mean by that, Leonard?" Sheldon turned to his friend.

"I held the door open for you and Howard doesn't have manners," Leonard said rolling his eyes again, beginning his search. Sheldon continued to frown.

"Are you implying that we have a sexual relationship?" He directed his question at Howard, who just stared back at him, slightly surprised by his question. "Because we don't, we have a platonic relationship, we don't go on dates, and I'm not married to him" Sheldon wanted to clear things up.

"Are you sure, because you live together and spend a lot of time in each other's company, you depend on Leonard a lot, that sounds like a relationship to me" Howard liked to aggravate Sheldon, but today was not the day.

"Howard, shut up," Leonard said immediately, seeing Sheldon's face turn red. "Don't mess with the Sheldon today dude, he's not in the mood, and I'm not either" Leonard said annoyed and slightly worried that Sheldon is going to explode like he did this morning.

"Alright, jeez, are you on your periods or something" Howard, didn't know really when to stop. Sheldon, turned and walked to another section of the comic book store, getting away from the incessant nagging and teasing. Leonard's instinct was to go to him and talk him down, but he knew that if he did, Howard will make another comment, causing Sheldon to get angrier, and we're back to the morning all over again. "What's with him?"

"Nothing, he's just not in a great mood today, and he just wants to do something that takes his mind off things," Leonard said trying to be nonchalant as possible so his friends will just drop the subject and take it as Sheldon is just being Sheldon.

"What's he needing to take his mind off of?" Raj said getting curious.

"I don't know, can we just drop it?" Leonard said, not looking up from his comic book search.

"Sounds like they had a lover's quarrel," Raj said jokingly to Howard. Leonard, looked at them annoyed again, before hearing something slam into the floor behind them, as they saw Sheldon storm out of the store, leaving behind a book that apparently, he was reading. Leonard, went to it, picking it up and placing it back on the shelf.

"You just don't get it do you? When I said shut up, I really meant shut up!" Leonard nearly yelled at his friends. "Now I have to go after him before he gets lost", he said leaving the store in search of Sheldon. Raj and Howard just shrugged, going back to their search for the missing comic books in their collection.

Leonard went down the street, trying to determine where had his friend gone. He heard someone sobbing around the corner, and found Sheldon sitting on the edge of the walkway with his hands covering his face. Leonard, walked carefully to him, trying not to frighten him or make him feel worse. Leonard sat next to him, and placed his arm around his friends shoulder gingerly. He knew Sheldon like the back of his hand, if Sheldon is sobbing uncontrollably, there is something seriously wrong. He decided not to say anything but just sit there with his friend, providing hopefully some sort of comfort just being there. It was a good ten minutes of sitting there in silence, hearing the muffled sobs, and sniffs from his roommate, feeling helpless in the situation and wishing he could make whatever that was bothering him all better. After a while, Sheldon was finally able to regain composure, and pulled out a tissue wiping his eyes, and nose. He still couldn't look at Leonard, but felt comfort knowing that he was there. Leonard stood up after a few seconds, encouraging Sheldon to follow suit. "Let's go to the train store, you'll feel better" Leonard simply said, leading him to the car. Sheldon nodded, and followed him.

The train store made Sheldon feel better, no one was there that said anything inappropriate or embarrassed him, Leonard didn't even try to get him to talk, he just walked around the store looking at the train sets and the accessories that went along with it. On the drive back, Sheldon broke the silence. "I'm sorry, I'm behaving like a child".

"You're not, you're obviously going through something that's bothering you, but I won't ask you to talk about it. I'm here though, if you ever do want to." Leonard said, with his eyes on the road. Sheldon nodded, understandingly.

"Do you mean that or are you just saying that as a social obligation?"

"I mean it Sheldon,"

"I want to, but… my reluctance isn't about discussing the details of what is troubling me, it's how your reaction might impact my emotional stability" Sheldon was honest, he didn't know any other way.

"What kind of reaction do you think I would give you?" Leonard is now comfortable addressing the topic carefully.

"Pity, concern, treating me as if I were a damaged individual that needs constant acknowledgement and praise in order to function effectively in life" Sheldon replied. Leonard thought for a moment, of what could Sheldon possibly said that Leonard would take pity on him and treat him as if he's a porcelain doll, about to break any minute?

"What if I promise that I wouldn't treat you any differently that I treat you on a regular basis?" Leonard tried to make this as easy as possible, preparing himself mentally for what Sheldon will reveal.

"Alright," Sheldon paused.

"Sheldon, what kind of reaction would you prefer me to have?" Leonard asked, hoping to get a clear answer as how Sheldon would best handle revealing his secret.

"As if I had told you something that was a regular occurrence in our daily lives. Nothing special, nothing sad, nothing emotional. And you have to promise me, that you won't tell anyone about this. I'm giving you the opportunity to get out of this if you cannot abide by the convenient of secret keeping. You do not have to know by any means" Sheldon was serious.

"I promise Sheldon,"

"This is confidential, anything we say right now is protected by the roommate confidentiality clause" Sheldon, had to bring up the roommate agreement.

"I understand Sheldon" Leonard was trying not to get annoyed.

"I was raped"


	4. Confession

**Fifth chapter. hope you enjoy it. Warning: Mentions of rape. I don't own any of the characters.**

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Leonard thought he misheard what his friend said, and nearly swerved but was able to stop himself. Telling himself it was a misunderstanding and wanted to clarify. "What did you say?" He said trying to should as normal as possible.

"I was raped" Sheldon repeated, with no emotion, as if he were stating a fact that he saw on the discovery channel. Leonard knew now that he didn't mishear his friend. He didn't know what he could say as a reply to this without reacting the way Sheldon told him not to react. He settled for questions.

"When?" Leonard tried his best to hold himself together.

"Last Tuesday, when I took the bus to exchange my bed sheets and everyone was too busy to take me. I wore my bus pants" Sheldon explained.

"Sheldon," Leonard breathed, trying to abide by Sheldon's requests to react in an unrealistic way. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wouldn't have said anything, ever, if I were able to control my own emotions and thoughts without having to succumb to the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. I can't seem to stop my mind from having flashbacks and nightmares, obviously disturbing you at night when I have them". Sheldon said nearly frustrated that he had to express himself to someone. He also knew that if he could talk to someone about it that it may help him with his symptoms.

"Do you know who it was? Did you report it?" Leonard had so many questions and he wanted to be emotional and hug his friend and make it all better, but he knew that Sheldon would regret telling him that if he expressed any kind of sympathy or pity.

"No, I did not report it and no, there were three of them, I didn't get a good look at their faces. They accosted me and took me into an ally, it was dark" Sheldon said, looking out the window, having problems discussing this and remembering the event. Leonard could hardly form words. They arrived at their building and Leonard put his car in park, before taking off his glasses, trying his best not to tear up, placing his forefinger and thumb on the bridge of his nose.

"I'm not saying this to be pitying you Sheldon, but I'm very sorry that happened to you" He tried saying this in the most professional way possible. Sheldon nodded. "I wish that your attackers can get what's coming to them". Sheldon looked again out the window avoiding Leonard.

"Yeah, well they escaped with my virginity and dignity" Sheldon continued to avoid eye contact and suppress his emotions.

"I don't remember you coming home Tuesday night, I just remember seeing you in the morning," Leonard said fixating on the steering wheel of his car.

"No, it was 11:57 pm when I finally arrived at the apartment, I took a shower and changed into my pajamas and went to bed. I threw away my bus pants and the other clothes that I wore that day because they were dirty and had blood on them. My underwear is probably still in that ally somewhere, but I don't need it anyway, I was going to throw it away if I did bring it home. No one was awake at that time." Sheldon then opened the door, ready to get out of the car and into their apartment, he was starting to feel uncomfortable talking about this. Leonard followed suit and got out of the car. They walked as they usually did to their apartment and entered. Leonard went to the fridge and took out two cold bottles of water and handed one to Sheldon who was also standing in the kitchen quietly looking at Leonard. Leonard was avoiding eye contact and staring at the counter. "Are you disgusted with me?" Sheldon asked suddenly. Leonard snapped his head up to look at his friend in the eye.

"No of course not, why would I be disgusted with you?"

"Because I was violated and penetrated by three different men in a dirty alleyway. They made me do unspeakable things to their genitals and threatened my life if I didn't comply with their demands, I could have let them execute me and it wouldn't be as disgusting, but I complied because I was scared" Leonard frowned, Sheldon thought that he had a choice in the matter.

"No Sheldon, that doesn't make you disgusting"

"But the act of allowing those men to-"

"No! Sheldon, they attacked you, threatened to kill you if you didn't do what they said and then forced you into submission! The only people that I'm disgusted with are those three men, not you, never you!" Leonard was angry, that someone would hurt his friend. His innocent friend. Sheldon remained silent, recognizing anger in Leonard's tone. "You didn't have a choice" Leonard lowered his voice.

"But I did, I could have let them kill me instead" Sheldon argued.

"You could have let them kill you and who knows what they could have done with your body, Sheldon" Leonard said trying not to yell at his friend.

"But I would be dead, I wouldn't know or care"

"Sheldon! Do you hear yourself? Do you wish you were dead?" Leonard was enraged.

"Yes" Sheldon simply said, Leonard was not expecting that answer. "I wouldn't be in pain right now, or going through the humiliation of revealing this to my best friend. I wouldn't be having nightmares, and flashbacks, I wouldn't be having any of the symptoms that resulted from this incident" now Sheldon was showing some emotion, his eyes became watery. "If I were dead, none of this would be taking place right now" He stared at Leonard, who looked back into his eyes. "I hurt, Leonard" Leonard didn't know what to say.

"I know, buddy" He said trying to not cry.


	5. Triple Date Rejection

**6th Chapter. Please review. Hopefully you read the warnings before but just in case, mentions of rape throughout the story. I don't own any characters.**

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The next day things went back to normal, or as normal as they could get after Sheldon's confession to Leonard. Leonard was trying desperately to process what he was told, and working really hard not to express his emotions about it. All he really wanted to do was to help Sheldon through this by talking about it and getting Sheldon to a therapist who is more skilled at handling trauma than him, but Sheldon wouldn't have it. He insisted that it just will take time for him to recover fully, and he didn't need a stranger's help to make him feel worse. Over the next few days, Leonard noticed that night times were very difficult for Sheldon, he would wake up in a sweat, scream or both. Leonard would get into a habit of going into his room, reassuring him that he's in a safe place and wait for Sheldon to go back to sleep. Leonard's sleep deprivation was evident as he went back to work.

"Jeez what happened to you?" Howard pointed out the circles under Leonard's eyes.

"Haven't been sleeping very well lately, that's all" Sheldon sat next to him in the cafeteria and looked at him observing the dark circles.

"Yeah you look pretty rough dude, you need beauty sleep" Raj said looking slightly concerned.

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Leonard dismissed their comments.

"So, what's disturbing you?" Howard said nonchalantly eating his salad.

"It's nothing really, just work related stuff, it's a bit stressful" Leonard replied, trying and failing to make it look normal. Sheldon continued to watch Leonard and Howard's interaction trying to determine if what Leonard was saying is true or if he was the cause of the dark circles. "How was your guys' weekend, we didn't see you Sunday" Leonard was trying to change the subject.

"Well I took Raj to a club and showed him to pick up chicks" Howard said proudly.

"And Bernadette was okay with that?" Leonard asked suspiciously.

"Sure, I'm not the one picking up chicks I'm just telling Raj what to do" Howard said assuring, as Raj nodded smiling.

"Were you successful?" Leonard asked Raj, who in turn stopped nodding and smiling and became defensive.

"I just have to develop my own unique Indian style, it was just the first round" Raj said with confidence. Sheldon continued to play with his food as his friends discussed. His energy level wasn't very high either, as he kept getting awoken by horrific images that is out of his control. He was in his own thoughts, paying little attention to others at the table, when he heard his name being called.

"I said Sheldon," Howard was attempting to get his attention. Sheldon awoke from his zoned out state and shook his head.

"Yes?"

"I said do you and Amy want to go on a triple date tonight with me, Bernadette, Leonard and Penny?" Howard asked again.

"That's nice, leave the Indian guy out" Raj said in a huff.

"Well when you get a girlfriend then we'll go on a quadrupole date how about that?" Howard said to Raj in an attempt to satisfy his need for attention. Raj smiled and nodded. "Well Sheldon?"

"Hum? Uh… I'll ask Amy" Sheldon said, without any intention of asking her that minute. Howard just stared at him waiting for him to pick up the phone and call her. Leonard observed the interaction, choosing to not defend Sheldon or tell Howard to back off like he would have liked, because of Sheldon's request at not treating him any different way or coddling him.

"Well?" Howard was impatient

"Well what?" Sheldon looked at him quizzically.

"Call her and find out!" Howard exclaimed irritated.

"Oh… Okay…" he slowly got his phone out of his pocket and started dialing it, hesitant because he truly didn't want to go himself, but felt too scared to be alone in his apartment. "Hi Amy"

"Hi Sheldon," the gang could hear Amy's voice on the other end.

"I have a proposition to make" Sheldon said in his usual tone of voice. Amy's voice appeared quite excited to hear what Sheldon will say.

"Oh really? Well what is it Sheldon?"

"Howard is asking if we would like to join him, Bernadette, Penny and Leonard on a triple date tonight?" a slight disappointing "oh" could be heard coming from Amy's side.

"I'm sorry Sheldon, but I can't do it tonight, I'm giving the monkey's in the lab cocaine and will be switching to placebos tonight, it's gonna be a rough ride" Sheldon was disappointed, he will have to be by himself in his apartment without Leonard tonight.

"Okay, well until next time then" he tried to make it out that he wasn't disappointed but Amy could tell from the tone that he was hiding it.

"I'm sorry Sheldon," she repeated.

"It's okay, I hope you have a productive rest of today, Amy" Sheldon said before hanging up. Leonard could tell Sheldon was more than a little disturbed by the turn of events.

Later that evening, Leonard was getting ready for his double date, he looked at Sheldon who was intensely fixated on his computer screen, playing a game. "Sheldon" Leonard said.

"Yes?" his roommate said without looking away from the screen.

"I could make an excuse and stay here if you're not comfortable being left alone tonight" Leonard was worried. "we could hang out, watch a movie, play a video game"

"No, Leonard, you cannot babysit me forever, I'm a big boy I can take care of myself," Sheldon said not taking his eyes off the screen as his fingers tapped on his keyboard controlling his character.

"You know you could still go with us even if Amy isn't going"

"And risk Howard saying something inappropriate and homosexual about the relationship that we have with one another, I don't think so." Sheldon quipped. Leonard sighed.

"Alright, well call me if there is anything you need" Sheldon was trying not to act like a mother, but he had issues when he was protective of his friend.

"I don't need anything, enjoy yourself, Leonard" Sheldon said still fixated on his game. Once he heard the door close, he paused the game, got up and locked every lock that was on the door for protection. He then went to sit on the couch, being hypervigilant about his surroundings. He finally got up and checked all the rooms in the apartment, making sure there were no intruders. He also looked in the bathtub and the cabinets just to be sure. After he was satisfied with making sure there weren't any intruders in the house, he sat back down in his spot, hands on his knees, unsure of what to do. If he continued to play his game, he wouldn't be alert in case someone were to break in, but if he sat there, he will be filled with crippling anxiety at an incident that has not happened yet. He got up and looked out the window, then he thought it was a bad idea because someone would see that he was in his apartment alone, so he shut the curtains of the windows. This was going to be a long night.

Leonard wasn't enjoying himself either, sitting and eating his dinner with his girlfriend and friends, jabbering about something random that held no interest to Leonard. He just wanted to go back to his friend and make him feel safe again. He knew that despite Sheldon's persistence that he will be fine alone, he didn't trust him. Leonard continuously checked his phone for miscalls or texts from Sheldon begging him to come home, but there were no texts or missed calls. Penny noticed Leonard being mentally absent from the conversation at the dinner table, and finally chose to address it.

"What's with you?" Penny asked directly after remaining quiet about Leonard's behavior for what seemed a long time.

"What?" Leonard asked defensively.

"You've obviously been very preoccupied with your phone and thoughts throughout this whole conversation, do you even know what we were talking about?" Penny was angry.

"Uh… Bernadette's new prescription medication that has strange side effects?" Leonard took a stab in the dark.

"That was 15 minutes ago, we were talking about Howard's mother's back issues" Penny said annoyed.

"Oh, sorry Penny, I'm just. I just feel bad about Sheldon" oops he didn't mean to say that.

"What about Sheldon?" She asked curiously.

"He's just, alone in the apartment, and I hate leaving him like that" Leonard was trying to backtrack.

"He'll be fine, he's probably having a good time by himself, he's a loner after all" Penny was dismissing Leonard's concerns but he didn't know how to respond without her suspecting something, and he knew when Penny suspected something, she's going to get involved enough where he will reveal Sheldon's secret, so he went along with it.

"Yeah, you're probably right".


	6. Fear

**Hey you guys, continue the Warning: Rape. Please review. :)**

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Sheldon was clutching his mobile phone in his hand, desperately trying not to dial his friend and tell him to leave his dinner date to come home. He heard a noise in the hallway and his mental alert system went to red. He got up from his seat and went to the door, peering through the peephole. Then he saw them. His heart started racing, his hands began shaking, and his eyes began to water. It was them, the three men from the alleyway. He can tell from their build, and they were wearing what appeared to be similar outfits from that day. They were right behind the door. Sheldon whimpered involuntarily as he couldn't stop staring through the peephole. They were at Penny's door, and one of them pointed to Sheldon's and Leonard's door, immediately frightening Sheldon, who clutched his chest and his phone. It was like a deer in the headlights, Sheldon couldn't move, barely could breathe. He began hearing someone behind the door fiddling with the doorknob, Sheldon's eyes went wide, and began slowly backing away, shaking his head, this can't be happening. He heard a click of the door, and felt extremely helpless, a tear escaped his eye as he waited for the inevitable to happen. They had unlocked two of the locks on the door, including the bolt. All that was left was the chain, the door opened but it was stopped by the chain. Sheldon snapped into his senses, and realized he had his phone in his hand, he has to call for help. The door moved and slammed open, breaking the chain. Sheldon's fingers couldn't work the buttons on his phone fast enough before one of the intruders grabbed him and his phone, throwing both to the ground. Sheldon scrambled up, trying desperately to get away from his attackers, who were entirely too fast for him. They grabbed him by the ankles, dragging him to the center of the room, flipping him on his back and pinning his arms above him.

"Well, what a coincidence, haven't we met before?" one of the large men said as he sat on top of him. Sheldon squirmed, more tears running down the side of his head. "I truly enjoyed our encounter last time sweet cheeks, maybe we can play again lover" Sheldon shook his head vigorously, as the man undid Sheldon's belt, and trousers. Another man pulled his trousers and underwear completely off, the thinner man began screaming but his underwear stifled his cries as it was shoved into his mouth. "Don't worry, this is gonna hurt just as much as it did last time" the large man said, as he positioned himself, with the other two men holding Sheldon's legs open and his arms above his head. He felt an intense pain and squeezed his eyes shut. He heard himself screaming.

"SHELDON!" Leonard called out to him. Sheldon woke suddenly, sweat on his brow, trembling, eyes bloodshot. "Sheldon," Leonard started before his friend broke down, for the first time after a nightmare, he had broken down without holding back. He had seen Sheldon cry before, but he was usually able to keep his cool after a nightmare, but this was different. He held his friend, and the taller man sobbed uncontrollably on his shoulder, making it wet, completely unaware of his other friends witnessing his emotional expression. They were stunned, had no idea what to do, and looked to Leonard to make their next move. He motioned for them to leave the apartment and give Sheldon his space, and they complied, going into Penny's apartment instead. "Sheldon" Leonard called his name when he began hearing Sheldon come back into reality. "Sheldon what happened?" Sheldon sniffed, trying to regain his composure.

"A nightmare" Sheldon said, looking at Leonard with desperation. "I'm scared, Leonard, I'm terrified it's going to happen again"

"Sheldon, it's time to go to therapy, I will go with you if it makes you feel better" Sheldon shook his head no. Leonard was frustrated, he struggled to see his friend in such a state. "I know that you hate feeling like this and you don't want to have the nightmares anymore but-"

"But I can't let anyone else know" Sheldon said sadly, "please".

"Sheldon" Leonard sighed "Penny, Howard and Bernadette were standing here when you came out of your nightmare, they heard you scream and plead, they know something's up." Sheldon's breath hitched.

"Do you think they'll tell Amy?"

"I don't know" Leonard wasn't sure if Penny or Bernadette had already texted Amy letting her know of what they witnessed. "if they did, it will be okay"

"It will be okay? I can't let my girlfriend know what was done to me?!" Sheldon was not just scared but now he was angry that Amy could potentially find out and leave him. "I can't, she will hate me"

"She won't hate you Sheldon, why would she hate you?" Leonard tried to reason with Sheldon.

"I was sexually assaulted, Leonard, if you were my girlfriend, would you want to touch me ever again?" Sheldon said to Leonard as if this was a reasonable thing to think. Leonard was irritated.

"No, Sheldon, if I were your girlfriend I would want to be there for you when you're going through something difficult and I'd like to think you would feel the same way about me!" Leonard had trouble empathizing with Sheldon's rationale as to why he can't tell his closest friends that he's struggling.

"I do feel the same about you" Sheldon said matter of factly, sounding much like his old self, calming Leonard right down.

"Oh, well…Good" Leonard was stumped. "Now what?"

"I need to go to bed" Sheldon said, looking at his watch. "It's after 11pm" as if he didn't just experience another traumatic nightmare.

"Sheldon" Leonard called out, stopping the taller man in the middle of the hallway, looking back at the shorter man "I'm here for you". Sheldon nodded and continue to head back to his room. Leonard shook his head and left the apartment heading over to Penny's.

At Penny's, Howard and Bernadette were sitting on Penny's couch, while Penny drank wine in her chair. All were very silent when Leonard walked into the room. All eyes turned to him for an explanation of they just witnessed. The first to speak was Penny.

"Is he okay?" Penny looked concerned. Leonard nodded.

"Yeah, he just had a nightmare that's all" Leonard replied attempting to avoid eye contact.

"It is really all?" Howard was suspicious.

"That's really all that you need to know" Leonard said, trying not to be a jerk about it.

"We're just worried about him, I don't think any of us have ever seen him like this" Bernadette commented.

"Apparently, Leonard has" Howard said pointing out how calmly he handled Sheldon's outburst. Leonard sighed.

"I wish I hadn't" Leonard was sad, sad that his friend had to endure the pain, sad that he felt alone in the situation, sad that he was restricted on telling anyone else even for his own mental health. "Look, all I can say is that, Sheldon experienced something traumatic, and he's going through the symptoms, he doesn't want anyone to know about it, and doesn't want to talk about it, and most importantly he doesn't want to be treated any differently"

"What happened?" Penny was really concerned at this point.

"I can't, I can't tell you Penny, or anyone else for that matter, he had made me promise not to reveal it. I'm sorry, I know how frustrating this can be, but it's Sheldon's wish and I feel that we probably should respect his privacy and wish" His friends reluctantly nodded, in unison. Leonard was satisfied with his speech and knew he needed to go back home.

Two years passed since the incident occurred and Sheldon's symptoms seemed to have reduced except for the occasional nightmare, he had seemed to return to his regular self, successfully carrying the secret with him throughout these years. Leonard kept to his word, and was there whenever Sheldon needed him to be, and respected his friend's privacy. Amy and his other companions never found out what the trauma was, and didn't pursue finding out to Sheldon's relief.

Sheldon woke up one morning, having a nightmareless goodnight sleep, and felt compelled to discuss his history with Leonard. Leonard was not expecting a morning filled with angst, and emotion, but he received it anyway, from the least person he expected. Sheldon.

"Leonard, I need to speak with you" Sheldon said coming out of his room in a nice suite. Leonard was sipping his coffee where he normally does, and turned toward his friend.

"What is it?"

"It's about what happened to me two years ago" Leonard didn't expect this and remained silent. "The sexual assault" as if Leonard didn't know what he was talking about.

"Yes, I figured that's what you meant" Leonard said slightly stunned by the sudden expression.

"I want to test your hypothesis with Amy" Leonard was a bit groggy this morning, and his mental capacities were not alert enough for a conversation like this in the morning.

"What hypothesis?" Leonard was beyond confused.

"The one where you theorized that Amy will not think I'm disgusting, but will instead tell me that she cares about me and wishes to help me anyway she can" Sheldon said bluntly.

"Oh right, that hypothesis" Leonard mocked remembrance.

"Today, will mark the two year anniversary of the incident, and I want to talk to Amy about it" Leonard was shocked, he didn't think that Sheldon ever wanted to talk about it, he just assumed that he will take it to his grave.

"Oh, um…Okay Sheldon, - Can I ask a question though?" Leonard was curious what brought on this sudden change of heart.

"If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with Amy, I want her to know everything there is to know about me. As of yet, she doesn't. I want to be honest with her, and if she wants to leave me because of this, I guess I have no choice but to reside to the fact that I am damaged goods and accept it as my fate" Sheldon stated clearly. Leonard was reluctant to answer this, wanting to reassure that Amy won't leave him because of what happened, and reassuring him that he is not damaged goods, but had difficulty getting the words out. Observing Leonard's silence Sheldon questioned "was that the question that you wanted to ask?" Leonard hesitated and nodded.

"But Sheldon, you…you aren't damaged goods" He was trying to save his friend from the disturbing thoughts that he is no longer of any use to anyone because of his experience.

"Nevertheless, I need to talk to her about this" Sheldon waved his hand.

"When?" Leonard was curious

"I guess now whenever she picks me up, we're going on our monthly morning date" Sheldon said smiling. Leonard paused,

"Woah, wait, you're going to tell her about your trauma over your morning breakfast date!? Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"Why not? It's the perfect time. We're alone, it's quiet, we're at a public restaurant"

"Sheldon, you don't know how she's going to take this, you can't expect her to abide by the same rules that you gave me before you told me the truth"

"Again, why not?"

"Because normally people don't work that way!" Leonard was frustrated with Sheldon's lack of knowledge of how this will affect his girlfriend. "I had a really hard time following your requests"

"You didn't do a good job at it"

"Sheldon it was difficult! I tried my best, but I can't act as if this isn't something huge and life changing"

"I don't want it to change my life, that's why I need to tell her, to get it off of my chest"

"I know, but you need to find a way to do it discretely, and not on your date in a public area"

"But today marks the-"

"Anniversary of the incident, I know I know, but can't you at least wait until you two got home" Leonard pleaded. He knew if Sheldon revealed this to Amy in a public restaurant, who knows how Amy is going to react and then it will be humiliating for Sheldon. Sheldon paused for a moment, considering this.

"Alright, I will wait" Sheldon finally said, Leonard let out a sigh of relief.


	7. Chapter 7

**6th Chapter. Please review. Hopefully you read the warnings before but just in case, mentions of rape throughout the story. I don't own any characters.**

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The next day things went back to normal, or as normal as they could get after Sheldon's confession to Leonard. Leonard was trying desperately to process what he was told, and working really hard not to express his emotions about it. All he really wanted to do was to help Sheldon through this by talking about it and getting Sheldon to a therapist who is more skilled at handling trauma than him, but Sheldon wouldn't have it. He insisted that it just will take time for him to recover fully, and he didn't need a stranger's help to make him feel worse. Over the next few days, Leonard noticed that night times were very difficult for Sheldon, he would wake up in a sweat, scream or both. Leonard would get into a habit of going into his room, reassuring him that he's in a safe place and wait for Sheldon to go back to sleep. Leonard's sleep deprivation was evident as he went back to work.

"Jeez what happened to you?" Howard pointed out the circles under Leonard's eyes.

"Haven't been sleeping very well lately, that's all" Sheldon sat next to him in the cafeteria and looked at him observing the dark circles.

"Yeah you look pretty rough dude, you need beauty sleep" Raj said looking slightly concerned.

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Leonard dismissed their comments.

"So, what's disturbing you?" Howard said nonchalantly eating his salad.

"It's nothing really, just work related stuff, it's a bit stressful" Leonard replied, trying and failing to make it look normal. Sheldon continued to watch Leonard and Howard's interaction trying to determine if what Leonard was saying is true or if he was the cause of the dark circles. "How was your guys' weekend, we didn't see you Sunday" Leonard was trying to change the subject.

"Well I took Raj to a club and showed him to pick up chicks" Howard said proudly.

"And Bernadette was okay with that?" Leonard asked suspiciously.

"Sure, I'm not the one picking up chicks I'm just telling Raj what to do" Howard said assuring, as Raj nodded smiling.

"Were you successful?" Leonard asked Raj, who in turn stopped nodding and smiling and became defensive.

"I just have to develop my own unique Indian style, it was just the first round" Raj said with confidence. Sheldon continued to play with his food as his friends discussed. His energy level wasn't very high either, as he kept getting awoken by horrific images that is out of his control. He was in his own thoughts, paying little attention to others at the table, when he heard his name being called.

"I said Sheldon," Howard was attempting to get his attention. Sheldon awoke from his zoned out state and shook his head.

"Yes?"

"I said do you and Amy want to go on a triple date tonight with me, Bernadette, Leonard and Penny?" Howard asked again.

"That's nice, leave the Indian guy out" Raj said in a huff.

"Well when you get a girlfriend then we'll go on a quadrupole date how about that?" Howard said to Raj in an attempt to satisfy his need for attention. Raj smiled and nodded. "Well Sheldon?"

"Hum? Uh… I'll ask Amy" Sheldon said, without any intention of asking her that minute. Howard just stared at him waiting for him to pick up the phone and call her. Leonard observed the interaction, choosing to not defend Sheldon or tell Howard to back off like he would have liked, because of Sheldon's request at not treating him any different way or coddling him.

"Well?" Howard was impatient

"Well what?" Sheldon looked at him quizzically.

"Call her and find out!" Howard exclaimed irritated.

"Oh… Okay…" he slowly got his phone out of his pocket and started dialing it, hesitant because he truly didn't want to go himself, but felt too scared to be alone in his apartment. "Hi Amy"

"Hi Sheldon," the gang could hear Amy's voice on the other end.

"I have a proposition to make" Sheldon said in his usual tone of voice. Amy's voice appeared quite excited to hear what Sheldon will say.

"Oh really? Well what is it Sheldon?"

"Howard is asking if we would like to join him, Bernadette, Penny and Leonard on a triple date tonight?" a slight disappointing "oh" could be heard coming from Amy's side.

"I'm sorry Sheldon, but I can't do it tonight, I'm giving the monkey's in the lab cocaine and will be switching to placebos tonight, it's gonna be a rough ride" Sheldon was disappointed, he will have to be by himself in his apartment without Leonard tonight.

"Okay, well until next time then" he tried to make it out that he wasn't disappointed but Amy could tell from the tone that he was hiding it.

"I'm sorry Sheldon," she repeated.

"It's okay, I hope you have a productive rest of today, Amy" Sheldon said before hanging up. Leonard could tell Sheldon was more than a little disturbed by the turn of events.

Later that evening, Leonard was getting ready for his double date, he looked at Sheldon who was intensely fixated on his computer screen, playing a game. "Sheldon" Leonard said.

"Yes?" his roommate said without looking away from the screen.

"I could make an excuse and stay here if you're not comfortable being left alone tonight" Leonard was worried. "we could hang out, watch a movie, play a video game"

"No, Leonard, you cannot babysit me forever, I'm a big boy I can take care of myself," Sheldon said not taking his eyes off the screen as his fingers tapped on his keyboard controlling his character.

"You know you could still go with us even if Amy isn't going"

"And risk Howard saying something inappropriate and homosexual about the relationship that we have with one another, I don't think so." Sheldon quipped. Leonard sighed.

"Alright, well call me if there is anything you need" Sheldon was trying not to act like a mother, but he had issues when he was protective of his friend.

"I don't need anything, enjoy yourself, Leonard" Sheldon said still fixated on his game. Once he heard the door close, he paused the game, got up and locked every lock that was on the door for protection. He then went to sit on the couch, being hypervigilant about his surroundings. He finally got up and checked all the rooms in the apartment, making sure there were no intruders. He also looked in the bathtub and the cabinets just to be sure. After he was satisfied with making sure there weren't any intruders in the house, he sat back down in his spot, hands on his knees, unsure of what to do. If he continued to play his game, he wouldn't be alert in case someone were to break in, but if he sat there, he will be filled with crippling anxiety at an incident that has not happened yet. He got up and looked out the window, then he thought it was a bad idea because someone would see that he was in his apartment alone, so he shut the curtains of the windows. This was going to be a long night.

Leonard wasn't enjoying himself either, sitting and eating his dinner with his girlfriend and friends, jabbering about something random that held no interest to Leonard. He just wanted to go back to his friend and make him feel safe again. He knew that despite Sheldon's persistence that he will be fine alone, he didn't trust him. Leonard continuously checked his phone for miscalls or texts from Sheldon begging him to come home, but there were no texts or missed calls. Penny noticed Leonard being mentally absent from the conversation at the dinner table, and finally chose to address it.

"What's with you?" Penny asked directly after remaining quiet about Leonard's behavior for what seemed a long time.

"What?" Leonard asked defensively.

"You've obviously been very preoccupied with your phone and thoughts throughout this whole conversation, do you even know what we were talking about?" Penny was angry.

"Uh… Bernadette's new prescription medication that has strange side effects?" Leonard took a stab in the dark.

"That was 15 minutes ago, we were talking about Howard's mother's back issues" Penny said annoyed.

"Oh, sorry Penny, I'm just. I just feel bad about Sheldon" oops he didn't mean to say that.

"What about Sheldon?" She asked curiously.

"He's just, alone in the apartment, and I hate leaving him like that" Leonard was trying to backtrack.

"He'll be fine, he's probably having a good time by himself, he's a loner after all" Penny was dismissing Leonard's concerns but he didn't know how to respond without her suspecting something, and he knew when Penny suspected something, she's going to get involved enough where he will reveal Sheldon's secret, so he went along with it.

"Yeah, you're probably right".


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